The Reason I've Not Been Reading

I've been deeply involved in a battle. A war against invaders creeping into my kingdom. My life was very peaceful until a fortnight ago when my army realized what was slowly happening in our land. We flew into war. Armed with rags and soap, our soldiers bravely marched into the forbidding territory. The enemy quickly came out to meet us. Choking us down when we shook out a curtain or rug. At other times creeping under their fortress to hide there until we discovered them and attacked by light of day, using all our manpower to beat them down. Suddenly, the enemy, Dirt, discovered they were in very hot water. At times we were forced to call upon our neighboring countries, the Cleaners or the Secretaries, to lend their support in uprooting the filthy presence of the enemy in our kingdom. And as the Secretarial warriors gladly pitched into the fight, we descended, shouting our battle cry of cleaning. The dirty scum left our kingdom in fright. Scattering before the breeze. And once again there was peace in the kingdom.

And as Chief Joseph says, " I will fight no more forever." ( Or, as I say, " I will fight no more, until the time comes for fall housecleaning.")

We're not quite done with the housecleaning, but I got the inspiration for this today and decided to post anyways.